Alex Blaggazine

Funny Louis CK short film promoting his new FX show...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:00:38 -0800

Funny Louis CK short film promoting his new FX show “Louie”. Personally, I’m a huge fan of the “Slap ‘n Sniff”.

joshlay: corycavin: Paula Deen gets hit in the face by a...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:48:23 -0800

corycavin:

Paula Deen gets hit in the face by a flying ham. (You have to click through on that picture. CBS Atlanta isn’t rocking an embed code.)

Watch her husband at the end nonchalantly take the ham. “Uh, I’ll handle this part.”

Flying hams are the worst.

I wish people would throw ham at my face more often.

If you ever get the chance, I can’t reccommend Elephant...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:30:00 -0800

If you ever get the chance, I can’t reccommend Elephant Snorkeling enough.

getthatlook: Yay! Someone is about to flying karate kick their...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 10:22:00 -0800

getthatlook:

Yay!

Someone is about to flying karate kick their way to becoming King of the Internet.

Great job, Los Angeles! You are so good at malls.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:16:24 -0800

Great job, Los Angeles! You are so good at malls.

The 2nd-Worst Marriage Proposal I've Ever Been A Part Of

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:54:00 -0800

So that reminds me…

When I was in college, I waited tables at a Joe’s Crab Shack (and no, I will not put in a “good word” for you with the Joe’s Crab Shack people, so don’t bother sending me your resumes) in a strip mall in the suburbs of Memphis, Tennessee. One night, a guest approached me at the food-expediting window and asked if I could help him propose to his girlfriend.

He handed me an engagement ring (the kind you can probably find at one of those stores from the commercials with the shadow people) and requested that I place it atop the frozen piece of factory-made key lime pie they would be ordering for dessert to finish off their delicious meal of fried seafood with jazzy mango salsa or whatever. Hoping for a tip of at least half the value of the ring he purchased (or roughly 20% of the total dinner bill), I said I would be happy to help.

Now for those of you who have never had the Joe’s Crab Shack dining and entertainment experience, the restaurant’s signature trademarks include: A “drunken old-timey fisherman hippie boat” ambiance created by the wall decor, the beloved tradition of the waitstaff occasionally pausing from their tartar-sauce-shuttling duties to break into seemingly spontaneous choreographed interpretations of “The Chicken Dance” on tops of tables (where people are eating), and the use of a megaphone to systematically humiliate those poor unfortunate guests who made the mistake of visiting the restaurant on their birthday.

Marriage proposals, however, were never mentioned in the “Guide to Facilitating the Perception of Whimsical Fun” chapter of the Joe’s Crab Shack and Landry’s Restaurants Official Employee Manual. So when I told my manager what was going on with the forthcoming key lime pie of possible matrimony, he seemed unsure of whether or not this sort of special moment merited the full “calling the entire restaurant’s attention to the occasion with a megaphone” treatment usually employed for birthday celebrations.

Ultimately, his directive to do whatever is neccessary to create a fun and lively environment for the consumption of seafood won over that day and he made the (what would ultimately turn out to be very poor) decision to go ahead with publicly announcing the engagement to the restaurant via megaphone.

Luckily, it was my job to carry out this mission on his behalf. So after elegantly placing the sparkling masterpiece of Kay jewelers craftsmanship lovingly atop the most delicious-looking piece of key lime pie I could find, I dropped off all this man’s hopes and dreams for his romantic future at their table and went back to the Hobart to hose off some oyster platters while he worked his magic.

A few minutes later, having arbitrarily decided that an appropriate amount of time had passed for these two to go ahead and get engaged already, I approached their table, megaphone in one hand, trucker microphone extension piece in the other, and politely asked the whole restaurant for a few moments of their attention so we could all celebrate the special turn of events that had just taken place amongst us. It was at this point, noting the ashen looks of hopelessness and dread that suddenly fell across the faces of my Guests of Honor when they saw the megaphone, that I realized something might be wrong.

Unfortunately this realization occurred as the words, “So what did she say?!” were making their way out of my mouth and into the megaphone that I was directing skyward in the middle of the dinner rush at this inexplicably popular restaurant.

Still, I pointed the trucker mic in their general direction and awaited a response. They sat there, silently, for what felt like an infinite ocean of time, before he finally choked out a barely audible, “She hasn’t made up her mind yet” as she quickly left the restaurant.

I did not know what to say into the megaphone next, so I babbled something about wishing them the best of luck and life and happiness and fun and future memories being made with their friends at Joe’s until it seemed like enough and I put the megaphone down and awkwardly attended to the matter of the poor man’s bill so he could leave and I could go back to the Hobart to finish up those oyster trays.

Anyway, that was definitely the worst marriage proposal I’ve ever been a part of. At least until yesterday.

In which Gabe hilariously proposes to The Truth, and The Truth accepts!

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:36:15 -0800

In which Gabe hilariously proposes to The Truth, and The Truth accepts!

Jesus Christ, Tumblr really is the Zach Braff movie of web publishing platforms.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:16:09 -0800

getthatlook: gabrieldelahaye: maxsilvestri: andrewti: In...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:17:50 -0800

getthatlook:

gabrieldelahaye:

maxsilvestri:

andrewti:

In case U jerks ain’t herd, Gabe and Max have a new goddamn talk show. it iz freeeeeeeeeesh.

[Gabe and Max’s 100 Seconds #1]

(via details.com, the finest website for men)

We are back and wearing flowers!

When this comes out on DVD, we will include 10 seconds of hilarious deleted scenes!

Yay, you guys!

Gabe and Max figured out the exact number of seconds that online videos should be!

“Doc Ellis and the LSD No-No” Man, I love this...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:03:00 -0800

“Doc Ellis and the LSD No-No”

Man, I love this story.

azizisbored: WATCH THIS! KROLL AND SCHEER BOTH ON ONE SHOW!!...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 10:28:28 -0700

azizisbored:

WATCH THIS! KROLL AND SCHEER BOTH ON ONE SHOW!! YES!!!

paulscheer:

Set Your Tivo’s Tonight for THE LEAGUE - THURSDAYS 10:30PM on FX.

I think this review from THE SALT LAKE CITY PAPER DESERET NEWS tells you more about the show than anything I could write.

“It’s astonishing that something this downright dirty could be on basic cable. “The League” is actually dirtier than most of the shows on HBO and Showtime.

A little more nudity and a few f-bombs, and this would be the dirtiest show on TV.Actually, even without the full-frontal nudity and f-bombs this is certainly one of the dirtiest shows on TV.

It’s no exaggeration to tell you that the dialogue in “The League” is actually more crude than the dialogue in pay-cable shows. The only show that even compares in terms of content is HBO’s sex-therapy series, “Tell Me You Love Me.”There are so many examples of crude sexual terms in “The League” that it’s, well, unbelievable.

In the first 45 seconds of Thursday’s premiere, there are multiple uses of a crude term that I can’t even allude to in a family newspaper — and, believe it or not, it’s what a father is saying to his infant. And there’s a bit of nudity. In the first 45 seconds. Not just talking about it, either. Proving that you can be graphic without showing body parts, there’s a sex scene in the pilot that — once again — I can’t even begin to describe for you because it’s so crude. But the show makes it crystal clear what’s going on beneath the sheets.

What’s even more astonishing is that “The League” involves children. Not just the danger that children might watch the show, but children in the show.

Hey, I watch TV for a living. I watch the shows on the pay-cable networks. And my jaw literally dropped watching the first couple of episodes of “The League.”

The next time some politician proposes regulating basic cable content the way broadcast TV is regulated, clips of “The League” will be front-and-center.”

I’m really loving the Urban Outfitters men’s winter...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:12:10 -0700

I’m really loving the Urban Outfitters men’s winter fashion line.

lindsayrobertson: getthatlook: Oh, my god! Nothing more can...

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:33:17 -0700

lindsayrobertson:

getthatlook:

Oh, my god!

Nothing more can be said.

Look, it’s not weird or gross or funny if you just use it to practice kissing Edward Cullen when you’re on the go and can’t use your full-size plastic cast Cullen mouth.

Here's a fun little TMZ-parodying PSA we made with Amy Smart to promote this weekend's EMA Awards

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:13:37 -0700

Here's a fun little TMZ-parodying PSA we made with Amy Smart to promote this weekend's EMA Awards:

And yes, that is my annoying voice playing the Obnoxious Paparazzo.

Here’s a nice chair upholstered with sassy text message...

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:10:58 -0700

Here’s a nice chair upholstered with sassy text message abbreviations. I don’t even know what all of them mean, but I definitely feel funnier when I sit in it.

I’m no fancy art expert, but I think this might be some...

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:48:17 -0700

I’m no fancy art expert, but I think this might be some kind of “comment” on “America.” Also, I think it would lovely in my foyer.

My Open Letter To Mariah Carey, RE: Her Finally Letting Us See the Left Side of Her Face

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:18:31 -0700

My Open Letter To Mariah Carey, RE: Her Finally Letting Us See the Left Side of Her Face

I was thinking of writing and making a movie, but I only want to...

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:43:52 -0700

I was thinking of writing and making a movie, but I only want to do it if I can guarantee that the poster will be designed by whoever made this one. Anyone know how to get in touch?

I bet if M. Night Shyamalan directed one of these Salvia freakout videos on YouTube, in the end we'd discover that everyone was just having a real chill great time.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:12:02 -0700

spiegelman: Ladies and gentlemen, your President is a robot. ...

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 10:52:38 -0700

spiegelman:

Ladies and gentlemen, your President is a robot. Or a wax sculpture. Maybe a cardboard cutout. All I know is no human being has a photo smile this amazingly consistent.

On Wednesday, the Obamas hosted a reception at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, during which they stood for 130 photographs with visiting foreign dignitaries in town for the UN meeting. The President has exactly the same smile in every single shot. See for yourself — the pictures are up on the State Department’s flickr. And, of course, compressed above into 20 seconds for your viewing pleasure.