choire asked: I wondered if you could elaborate on a previous answer, if you have the time? This one: "Q: What’s your biggest regret? A: Not being nicer, to everyone." I wanted to know much more. At what time, and why, did this learning curve about humility begin, and when did it end? How did you develop what you think of as such bad, not-nice-being habits in the first place? What particular experience helped you understand you were not being "nice"? I ask on behalf of younger people everywhere. Thank you.
In the interest of time and privacy, these answers are probably not as thorough as they should be, but here are a few thoughts.
At what time, and why, did this learning curve about humility begin, and when did it end?
I don’t think it really began or ended in any particular place. It’s more of a gradual acceptance of the fact that I am not a Special or Unique person, and neither are you, and neither is anyone. From a high enough vantage point, we’re all just one of billions, and the further away I can get from the illusion of myself as the center of the universe, the healthier my thinking (and thus the better my life) tends to be. But my weak mind and our confounding culture can make that journey more difficult on certain days. It’s definitely a “two steps forward, one step back” type of thing. I think the Internet has helped, though, by taking the collective unconscious and making it into something more tangible that can be observed and studied. It kind of gives you that “high enough vantage point”, if you look at it right. You begin to realize that almost all of your thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires are shared by many, many other people who are, in fact, very much like you. And as this applies both to those whom you admire and despise, the result can feel simultaneously humbling and encouraging (which are two feelings that require a proper balance).
How did you develop what you think of as such bad, not-nice-being habits in the first place?
Immaturity, I’m sure. Most people under the age of 23 are total dicks to begin with, so there’s that. But spending my formative years (the latter of which were during the early portion of the Bush Administration) stuck in the suburbs, in the Deep South, I had a lot of pent up anger and outrage and no real outlet for it outside of a deep identification with Adbusters and Michael Moore and Fight Club (like I said, I’m definitely not Special or Unique - though funnily enough I still didn’t grasp this at the time, even though Fight Club explicitly told me so). Anyway, once I found the Internet, I could finally (and sometimes anonymously!) say all the nasty shit I wanted about the people and institutions at whom I was so angry. I thought that was really subversive and edgy for awhile, then I pretty much realized that I was just being an asshole, that the web as a medium (and my own abilities, whatever those might be) are worthy of a bit more respect, and that I should probably aim a bit higher than pointlessly antagonizing those with whom I could not identify. And that’s why I run a network of celebrity sites now (HAHA two steps forward!)
What particular experience helped you understand you were not being “nice”?
No one particular thing, really. Maybe reading enough of the Internet to recognize that the act of shitting on everything is usually as dumb and lame and unoriginal as the things you’re actually shitting on. Or just gaining enough life experience to understand that most of the world is completely absurd, and more often than not, the people in it are just trying to stay fed and make sense of things in their own weird and fucked up ways, just like we’re doing now.
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