To Our Dearest Publicists (and Family and Friends),
My, what a year it has been for the Kardashian Klan! Our family was blessed with many great magazine profiles and endorsement deals, but we certainly also faced our fair share of setbacks and bad press as well. But we are so greatfull for everything, because our lives remain so full of greatness.
So what’s been happening with us this year?
First and foremost, I have to start with my lovely and famous daughter Kim who (along with The-Ray J-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named) basically made this family what it is today. This year we all saw her fall in love in UsWeekly headlines, get engaged on the cover of People, plan and act in the most elegant wedding ever broadcast on E!, and then get publicly divorced before the Honeymoon footage even made it to air - all in about six weeks. Now she is on a peace-bringing mission in Africa or somewhere to like help the tsunami victims and shoot a sizzle reel.
Kourtney & Scott went to some club openings and vodka events. I think she might be pregnant again. Yum, more babies!
Who else? Well, Lamar still hasn’t left Khloe yet even though she keeps refusing my advice to have her face surgically altered to look like Jennifer Lopez. Oh yeah Khloe also beat up a tranny hahaha stop hitting yourself Khloe!
My baby Rob Kardashian did
The Other One - Is there another one? oh wait. I am very drunk. NO, KEEP TYPING!
Brody - Faggot.
My lovely Bruce has decided that he’s going to start swimming again and win the whole Olympics. I believe in him and hope he does it because it would probably be great for the family and me in general.
Robert Sr. (RIP) - Still probably enjoying the VIP part of heaven for helping OJ get away with murder.
I’m on television!
Also, We Bought A Zoo! (We didn’t actually, but someone from Universal Pictures paid me to mention it in the Kristmas letter.)
Sincerely,
Mom Kardashian (the hot one)
