“Take the example of 19-year-old Redditor Ojdidit123. After 70 days without masturbating, he wrote, he went from being a virgin to meeting a woman on his flight, getting a “raging boner,” and having sex with her in both the plane and an airport hotel. The confidence he got from that encounter, he said, not only helped him perform well at a job interview later, and secure a job at a hedge fund for the summer, but also enabled him to call a long-simmering crush and ask her out. “All that shit happened in the span of 48 hours,” he posted. “It was pretty fucking crazy.” — I bet the fact-checkers had fun with this part of the NY Mag article about people who have given up jerking off
EXCLUSIVE: Comedy Central is expanding its late-night block with a new show hosted by comedian/producer Chris Hardwick and co-produced by Funny Or Die. The
I co-created this! I am very excited to make a TV show with a bunch of brilliant people!
[video]
[video]
Here’s the full text of a piece I wrote for The Magazine a few months ago. I really enjoyed writing it, and would like to thank Marco once again for publishing it there. If you haven’t checked out The Magazine yet, you should. Anyway, here’s why you’re a total snooze:
Everything was going great until you showed up. You see me across the crowded room, make your way over, and start talking at me. And you don’t stop.
You are a Democrat, an outspoken atheist, and a foodie. You like to say “Science!” in a weird, self-congratulatory way. You wear jeans during the day, and fancy jeans at night. You listen to music featuring wispy lady vocals and electronic bloop-bloops.
You really like coffee, except for Starbucks, which is the worst. No wait—Coke is the worst! Unless it’s Mexican Coke, in which case it’s the best.
Pixar. Kitty cats. Uniqlo. Bourbon. Steel-cut oats. Comic books. Obama. Fancy burgers.
You listen to the same five podcasts and read the same seven blogs as all your pals. You stay up late on Twitter making hashtagged jokes about the event that everyone has decided will be the event about which everyone jokes today. You love to send withering @ messages to people like Rush Limbaugh—of course, those notes are not meant for their ostensible recipients, but for your friends, who will chuckle and retweet your savage wit.
You are boring. So, so boring.
Don’t take it too hard. We’re all boring. At best, we’re recovering bores. Each day offers a hundred ways for us to bore the crap out of the folks with whom we live, work, and drink. And on the internet, you’re able to bore thousands of people at once.1
A few years ago, I had a job that involved listening to a ton of podcasts. It’s possible that I’ve heard more podcasts than anyone else—I listened to at least a little bit of tens of thousands of shows. Of course, the vast majority were so bad I’d often wish microphones could be sold only to licensed users. But I did learn how to tell very quickly whether someone was interesting or not.
The people who were interesting told good stories. They were also inquisitive: willing to work to expand their social and intellectual range. Most important, interesting people were also the best listeners. They knew when to ask questions. This was the set of people whose shows I would subscribe to, whose writing I would seek out, and whose friendship I would crave. In other words, those people were the opposite of boring.
Here are the three things they taught me.
Once I stopped feeling like Scott was speaking directly to me, because I am self-obsessed (and thus very boring), I really enjoyed this. You will too!
[video]
Well after 33 years of living 1 thing is sure and that’s the wheels of justice don’t turn or even turn slow….just like some new 22’s you gotta buy them….guilty till you pay instead of innocent is what it should read…i never thought this judge would be dis-honest or unfair…but then again it’s same judge that gave me more time for weed they didn’t have cause i was engaged to a police’s chief’s whore of a daughter who bit my schlong and nothing was done but yet i she sent my ass to prison for more time for weed they didn’t have and this mf’r stabbed me 6 times and hit me with a bat 10….fuck the fact it was in my home and i ran his bitch ass out after i took all his bats and knives….shit im going to tuscumbia police station and getting that shit back since it was never used as evidence…shit half the people who defend and protect are dirtier than the ones they decide fates..i bet they have lots of mirrors and prescription to ambien and xanax….they need to investigate the ones who gave a 7 times violent felon with attempted murder on his rap sheet 47 days…….shit i served 9 times his sentence for shit they didnt even have and was told with my background i was lucky to get that….my background…..1 felony for half a fucking blunt i didnt even have……something sound wrong with any of that …maybe i should go to news with this shit…ryan herring was pistol whipped which is THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY OF COLBERT COUNTIES FAULT RYAN I HOPE YOU SUE THE FUCK OUTTA THEM!!!!!
— An old Junior High Classmate in Alabama
[video]